The Hardest Move Of His Life

DAWN AND CHRIS OSTRANDER

I have spent the past 10 years of my life ensuring that my husband is able to be a father to his only child and that my stepson has the life he deserves. I will share with you some of our past horrors but for now I will tell you what's currently happening. 

Darius is now 17-years-old. Right before his 17th birthday, during his Thanksgiving 2014 visit with us he decided he wanted to live full time with us in Washington state. He told Butch and I that he "needed us to help him grow up, and push him to the do the right thing." Darius was struggling in Florida. He failed math, was drinking, smoking, and sneaking around. In my opinion, Dawn lost control a long time ago. At his young age Darius could see that he needed more guidance and involvement if he was going to become the person he aspired to be. He was also not allowed to play sports while living in Florida. There was no support system for him there. Darius desperately wanted to play soccer and he had no support to do so while living in Florida.

After returning to Florida from Thanksgiving break Darius told his mother face-to-face that he wanted to live with his dad and I. Naturally, Dawn was very upset. Anyone would expect a mother to be upset when her only child tells her he doesn't want to live there anymore. According to Darius her reaction was "hysterical." She went crazing crying in front of him and telling Darius "how could you do this to me." This has always been an issue - It's never about Darius, it's always about how Dawn feels and what she wants. She proceeded to tell Darius he could not live with his Father. For obvious reasons no one understood this. Then she completely stopped talking to Darius about his move leaving his life hanging in the balance. Roughly two weeks after Darius confronted his mother she finally told him "he was going to get his way, he was going to live with his father", but continued to stonewall us, and not discuss anything further with Darius. We feel like she was just trying to shut him up about the whole thing.   

A court appointed Parenting Coordinator was assigned to this case back in 2012. We contacted the Parenting Coordinator to assist with the move and help Darius  during this time. Dawn absolutely refused any cooperation and refused to allow Darius to speak to the Parenting Coordinator as well. Darius literally begged to talk to him, but again what Dawn wants always comes first.

This is what it's like to try and "co-parent" with her.

Darius tells us his mother repeatedly told him she "had to protect herself financially and legally" before he could move to Washington state. What the hell? How about you do what's best for your child and worry about yourself later? So instead of starting school in Washington after the New Year Dawn insisted that Darius return to Florida, wait for her attorney, and then be pulled out of school and flown back here when she felt things were settled. Reportedly, Dawn told Darius, "this move will be on my terms." 

Dawn claims to have been starting the paperwork and the legal process of moving Darius here. To date, this paperwork has never been seen. Instead, she filed a Motion for Contempt against Butch - we will get to that. 

In late December Darius returned to Washington for his Christmas visit. When he tried to bring his Xbox, that he purchased with his own money, his mother refused. Darius bringing his Xbox with him was normal - he dies this most times he visits, but Dawn refused to let him, and questioned Darius about his return. His Christmas departure from Florida was actually very dramatic with Dawn and Darius getting into a fight and his stepfather giving him a handshake and $14 for his trip while Dawn went back to the car to pitch her fit. Darius text her that morning while he was waiting on his flight and told her "you did this to yourself mom." The poor kid was fed up with her childish behavior. 

Little did we know, Darius had made up his mind he was not returning to Florida before he ever left. He cleaned out his locker at school and packed his bag as full as he possibly could. He told us how his mother was consumed with hating us, and he couldn't be around it anymore. He wanted more for his life and literally ran away from his mother. He loves his mother dearly, and we've always encouraged that, still do. He just couldn't handle the constant badmouthing of us. He's lived with her hateful comments his entire life.

This is the type of lifestyle Darius left behind to come live in Washington. Dawn and Chris have the ability to buy Darius anything he wants, but apparently they didn't have the ability to put him first. 



Darius did everything he possibly could during Christmas break to level with Dawn. He tried explaining his feeling over the phone, through e-mail and text. She wouldn't hear any of it. She absolutely refused to let Darius make the move and she did not even dignify his e-mail with a response. 

Darius' please to his mom. She didn't even respond to him.

The Parenting Coordinator could not do anything because Dawn would not allow it. 

The morning of Darius' return flight arrived and Darius refused to board the plane to Florida. At 17-years-old there isn't much you can do when a man-sized child tells you NO, I'm NOT going back to that house! When Dawn realized Darius really wasn't coming back she called 911 three times and then text Darius threatening him (see below). Nothing was done about her 911 calls. In fact, Butch called in to let the police know what was happening and he and the Police Officer had a nice chat. Seriously? 911? The kid is not 4-years-old. I mean come on woman!  

Dawn's threat to Darius when things didn't go her way. She only cares what the courts order when it benefits her.

Directly following this threat Dawn began acting on it. Within hours she disconnected Darius' cell phone. Now explain that to me? How does this serve any purpose other than being malicious and hateful? When Darius discovered she had disconnected his cell phone he promptly changed all of his social media passwords because in the past his mother has deleted his accounts out of anger. Darius figured that would be her next move. Below is Dawn's response when we e-mailed her regarding the cell phone.

Keep in mind Dawn is the one who turned off his cell phone!

Darius' return flight was scheduled for January 4th. That's the day she turned his cell phone off. The next day she changed her profile photo to this: 

Apparently her middle finger extends to her own child as well.

  
She then took her hate to a whole new level by having her only child kicked out of his new High School. Yep! What type of person would do this to their own child? We enrolled Darius at the best possible school so that he would have every opportunity that he moved to WA for. When Dawn learned that we used a different address to register Darius at school she promptly notified the school resulting in Darius' immediate dismissal from that school. Again, who does this type of thing to their own child?! We are the one's who held Darius while he cried and talked about how he would tell his kid's about the time his mother got him kicked out of High School. It's just insanity. All the while Dawn is running around telling the entire world how Darius was "stolen" from her, and we were keeping him from her. She is certainly not a victim in all this. 

This e-mails served only one point... to cause problems. Great job getting your son kicked out of school, Dawn!

By January 23, 2015 Dawn paid her attorney to file a Motion for Contempt against Butch, but and again we've never seen any progress towards actually changing custody and finalizing this drama, instead she insisted on dragging Butch through court in hopes of getting him in trouble. 

Dawn made zero attempts to connect with Darius for months after all this happened, yet she claimed in her Motion for Contempt that she was trying to connect with Darius and was unable to. Phone records show she called ZERO times.

Here are a few favorite parts of her outlandish lies in her Motion for Contempt: 

Remember this? We just covered this. It was DAWN who turned his cell phone off. We submitted phone records to the courts showing that she actually attempted to call Darius ZERO times. She texted twice, at which time Darius said no thanks, but she never once attempted to call Darius. I thought her communication was alive and well, but yet she tells the courts we're keeping him from her.

Darius refused to talk to her because of the way she was acting. She was in an accident and text Butch asking to let Darius know. He did, and Darius still refused to call her. He later e-mailed his mother telling her no one was stopping him from calling; that he wasn't ready to call, but Dawn still took her story all the way to the Judge crying that she was trying to reach Darius and unable to do so. 

Darius tells his mom again that no one is keeping him from calling. He's PISSED! 

Currently, Dawn and Butch are ordered to split the cost of all extra curricular activities, it's been this way for years. Dawn has refused to pay a single dime for anything and currently owes over $2,000. She is not interested in any way what's best for Darius. 

When Butch asked her to split the cost of soccer so Darius could play on this team she accidentally responded to Butch saying "Is he fucking kidding me?!!"

But GET THIS.... A few days prior to this text she had the money to spend $890.00 for BOTOX! So I guess $890.00 for botox is more important than letting your only child chase his dreams. 

UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Never once through this entire process has Dawn apologized to Darius for her behavior, or the way she treated him. I don't think she ever will. We are the ones helping Darius heal from the damage she continually causes. She is a very sick person and it's absolutely heartbreaking to see her act this way towards her only son. 

Darius is 17-years-old and perfectly capable of thinking on his own. I swear to all that is Holy we did not type a single e-mail that Darius sent his mother during this time frame. 

Then this happened. Dawn gave her little girlfriend Darius' e-mail so that she could e-mail Darius. Absolutely absurd. The below e-mails says she got Darius' e-mail address from a printout in his mom's cubicle at work, but I called Dawn's work and followed up on this. I found out that this woman doesn't even work with Dawn anymore so Dawn purposefully handed out Darius' e-mail address so her friend could send this trash to him. 

Butch has not earned an income since 2013 and is currently awaiting a hearing for disability. Dawn has been provided details about Butch's illnesses, medical records and even photos while Butch was hospitalized. She is so delusional she refuses to accept the fact that he is really disabled. After refusing to pay for ANYTHING for Darius for months, even what she's currently court ordered to pay for she found the money to purchase this beach front home, pay for BOTOX, and her attorney. She must sleep great at night knowing her son's dreams fall 9 miles behind anything she wants to do. So while she's spending $890 on BOTOX and buying a new house, my mother-in-law and I are financially supporting Darius. The house Darius was living in before leaving Florida wasn't much different than this to include an in-home elevator. Things were so bad there he left all this behind to come live in Washington. Keep telling yourself you're mother of the year because you're completely insane. -Proof positive that it takes more than money to raise a child. 

Dawn and Chris' new house

Last summer we went out of our way to find Darius a soccer coach/team. He met one of his best friends there and worked hard to catch up to his piers. One of the proudest moments  for us all was when he made the soccer team after moving here. Darius has made some very hard, grown-up decisions in the last few months and we are so proud of him. He's so talented, and truly an amazing kid. 

One of my favorite photos ever.

MY BOY!!! So proud in his soccer jacket. RIVER 6, baby! 

All of this has happened since the end of November 2014, but this has been our life for many years. Darius has never been free to live a life where he is allowed to love both parents. He is comfortable at our house and free to speak about his mother, and that's one of the many reasons why he chose to move here. He has been told what a "piece of shit" his father his his entire life and now he is seeing everything as it is. Last summer Dawn and Chris (Darius' stepdad) took Darius to a dinner to sit him and down and tell him how daddy gave up on him. For real, she is absolutely crazy. Darius grew up and realized that his mother's hate for Butch and I keeps her from being a good mother. She refuses to put her child first.

I for one am so very thankful we finally get a chance to be full time parents to Darius and I couldn't be more thankful to have him with us. Every ounce of this drama is worth it. Darius is a strong kid and I know he will come out on top.

As of May 29, 2015 Dawn still refuses to finalize a new parenting agreement, pay for anything, or move on in any way. She is insisting on going to court, STILL. Butch was not held in contempt when she filed her Motion for Contempt when Darius refused to return home. Darius will be 18-years-old in 6 months, yet she is still dragging us through court. Truly, she is crazy.

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Disclaimer: 

The things posted on this blog are facts. All of which are backed up with Dawn's own blog/internet posts, facebook/myspace pasts, texts or e-mails. There are no untruths being told here, only facts. Obviously, personal opinions and feelings are being shared as well as this is my personal story. Leonard "Butch" Mendes has absolutely no access, control, or involvement with this blog and Darius Mendes does not have access to view this blog.  My intent with this blog is to share my personal story.

 slander
n. oral defamation, in which someone tells one or more persons an untruth about another which untruth will harm the reputation of the person defamed. Slander is a civil wrong (tort) and can be the basis for a lawsuit. Damages (payoff for worth) for slander may be limited to actual (special) damages unless there is malicious intent, since such damages are usually difficult to specify and harder to prove. Some statements such as an untrue accusation of having committed a crime, having a loathsome disease, or being unable to perform one's occupation are treated as slander per se since the harm and malice are obvious, and therefore usually result in general and even punitive damage recovery by the person harmed. Words spoken over the air on television or radio are treated as libel (written defamation) and not slander on the theory that broadcasting reaches a large audience as much if not more than printed publications.